Exercises: Vulva Massage and Self Stimulation Combined with the Ocean Breath

Category: Sex Education

Combining vulva massage with the Ocean Breath is especially important during self pleasure. Our natural reaction when sensations grow intense or uncomfortable is to hold the breath and tense up. That is the opposite of relaxation. We may not notice it, yet this response pulls us away from the moment and dulls our awareness.

We withdraw energetically from situations that feel uncomfortable. This inner flinch is the exact opposite of the embodied vitality we wish to cultivate, yet it is a conditioned and common response not only to mild discomfort or pain but also to strong waves of pleasure.

One habit many women unconsciously adopt during sexual experience is to tense the entire body and hold the breath at the very moment a certain peak of pleasure approaches. One reason is the narrow focus often required to reach a clitoral orgasm, especially when a partner is involved. We pour so much attention into chasing that feeling in the body in the hope of catching the spark of climax.

A deep vaginal and whole body orgasm is something entirely different from what is described above. In this case it is essential to relax completely in order to enter that transcendent state of pleasure. Before I go further, let us take it step by step.

Preparing the body for pleasure with vulva massage

You may think I have covered this before. It bears repeating. It typically takes twenty to forty five minutes for female erectile tissue to become fully engorged and for a woman’s sexual instrument to be ready to play. Measured against what passes for foreplay, that span can seem long. Which is why we prepare the instrument with a dedicated vulva massage.

This massage honors the physiology of our sexual response and offers a simple sensual way to increase blood flow throughout the genital area. It also helps us be present with our genitals. Most touch in this area tends to serve only to lubricate or to wash, and we rarely relate to our genitals in a way that goes beyond their maintenance, as if they were machinery.

Vulva massage works much like massage of any other part of the body.

When we touch any part of the body and apply steady pressure, circulation increases in that region. It also supports the release of toxins, the cleansing of lymph, and the softening of stagnant emotional energy that may be held there. Many people view regular full body massage excluding the genitals as a fundamental support for health and emotional balance.

Why would we not wish our vaginas and vulvas to enjoy the same beneficial effects of mindful touch? When we add the Ocean Breath, it helps us to:

1. Relax and open the body so that energy trapped in that area can be released
2. Feel more connected to the sensual experience

Instead of getting stuck in the head and thinking we look silly or feeling awkward about massaging the vulva, we use the breath to help us sense the body. This, to me, is the essence of embodiment. It means living with full awareness in every part of ourselves. The ability to relax and allow the body to be felt in all that arises is the key to a rich life and a fulfilling sexual experience.

Female Viagra works in a similar way to vulva massage. It boosts blood flow and circulation in the genitals, which can increase a woman’s sexual responsiveness. Vulva massage offers the same effect and serves as a natural alternative for addressing sexual dysfunctions that may result from limited blood flow or poor circulation in the genital area.

Our sweetest spots

After you have given yourself a vulva massage, and I hope you enjoyed it, following the description below, you are ready for self pleasure.

If we aim to cultivate our highest capacity for pleasure, we need to understand more about our physiology and the parts of the body we are engaging.

Below are the most responsive erogenous zones within our pleasure anatomy as I understand them. Research on the female sexual organs expands every year, and I invite you to explore and learn your body and the pleasures it can offer.

Clitoris

The clitoris is far more than the small visible tip. It is an extensive structure that includes the glans and the shaft you can see, as well as the legs, bulbs, and roots that reach deep into the body. Current research indicates that the clitoral glans contains more than eight thousand nerve endings, more than anywhere else in the human body and twice as many as the penile glans. The clitoris is the only human organ designed solely for pleasure.

The G spot

This point has inspired much debate. You can locate it about two and a half to five centimeters inside the vagina on the anterior wall. If you insert a single extended finger, you will feel a ridged, slightly textured area that differs from the smooth vaginal walls. That is your G spot, and every woman has one. Many women have difficulty sensing it or knowing whether they reach orgasm there for three reasons discussed in the previous article. They are lack of education, lack of awareness, and most of all diminished sensation that often traces back to sexual or emotional trauma.

If sensation here feels numb or painful during self stimulation or intercourse, do not worry. This is common. Depending on the age group, at least six to ten women:

1. Do not know where their G spot is
2. Experience low sensation, pain, or irritation when it is stimulated

However, there is no need to panic. Whatever you feel now can change as you begin to practice self stimulation.

The A spot

Also known as the AFE point, it lies on the anterior vaginal wall beyond the G spot, roughly seven to ten centimeters inside. You can find it by lying back and reaching with a finger placed inside the vagina as far as comfortably possible. This point sits at the place where the tip of your finger lands. It is easiest to stimulate with an appropriate adult toy or with another person’s finger.

It is a cluster of highly sensitive nerve endings that, when touched gently, can lead to strong orgasms. Some suggest it supports vaginal lubrication.

The P spot or deep spot

Also called the PFE point, it lies deep in the vagina in the area surrounding the cervix. It is most easily stimulated with a toy or with a penis.

Cervix

This is a recently recognized pleasure center for women. It is located at the opening of the cervix. Yes, the cervix is an erogenous zone and, when massaged gently by your partner or by you, it can produce profound orgasms. In Tibetan Tantra the cervix is regarded as the lower end of the central channel, the seat of life force and enlightened awareness in the body. Cervical massage can be extremely intense physically and emotionally.

The U spot or urethra

This is a network of spongy erectile tissue known as the urethral sponge that surrounds the urethra. Many women love and feel great pleasure when this area is massaged. This point forms part of the same erectile network that contributes to the G spot.

Perineal sponge

This spongy erectile tissue lies between the anus and the vagina. For most women it offers intense pleasure, though not for everyone.

Anus

Some women experience anal stimulation as a source of exceptional pleasure. There is a high concentration of pleasurable nerve endings in and around the anus.

Breasts and nipples

This is another highly erogenous zone. Stimulation of the breasts, especially the nipples, increases the production and release of oxytocin and prolactin. Magnetic resonance imaging shows that nipple stimulation activates areas of the sensory cortex that also map to the genitals. Massaging the nipples activates the endocrine system, which supports natural lubrication for the yoni.

Once again we see that sexual stimulation not only helps us feel better, it is also good for us.

I would note that it is not necessary to stimulate every area listed above. You may feel little in some places, pain in others, or you may not feel comfortable exploring certain points at all. Whatever you feel is perfectly fine and normal. That said, pay attention if you notice aversion to a particular area or if discomfort or pain arises during stimulation.

Remember that emotional imprints from stress or trauma are stored in the body. It is therefore likely that numbness, pain, or discomfort marks regions where emotions are held. If the areas that hurt are primarily emotional in nature, there is a strong chance that they will heal over time when you apply the methods described here. You may notice your sexual experience awakening, your mind opening, and the way you feel and inhabit your body changing.

However, some sexual dysfunctions are psychological in origin and require professional help.

The second point to keep in mind on this journey of sexual awakening is the healing process itself. Sensation tends to return in layers, moving from numbness to pain to irritation, then to function and finally to pleasure. Consider what happens when your arm falls asleep. First it goes completely numb, then as circulation returns it aches, then it tingles or feels prickly, and at last it returns to normal.

Healing in the sexual body follows a similar arc. You may move through these phases in a few minutes, a few hours, several weeks, or over several months. It depends on what is ready to be healed and on the depth of the trauma.