Sensual Healing

Category: Sex Education

I do not mind repeating myself, because I believe this needs to be said again and again, spoken out loud and emphasized until all of us become aware and choose to change the reality we live in.

We live in a culture that TEACHES women to be afraid, to turn away from their sexuality, and to suppress their sensuality.

The society we live in views natural sexuality with disapproval. Yet at the same time, it is perfectly acceptable to debate the pros and cons of a military campaign in public, while it is out of bounds to utter the words "orgasm" or "vagina" at certain social gatherings, regardless of context.

The unspoken rule is simple: "Good girls do not do that, bad girls do." This idea shapes attitudes toward female sexuality in our culture. This supposedly well meaning advice, in truth a rigid dogma, keeps women psychologically and emotionally bridled, discouraging authentic expression and deterring any exploration of their own sexuality.

We shy away from fully enjoying sex because we have been dulled and conditioned to believe that only "bad girls" do that. Do not kid yourself. All of us, perhaps unconsciously, wonder whether we are "bad" if we take pleasure in the physical act. The answer that gets pushed onto us is YES. As I said, that is how culture has programmed us.

Yet that is not all. It is not only that we will SIMPLY be labeled "bad". There is an added burden, the fact that a punishment has been prescribed for such behavior. After all, we all know what happens to "bad girls". They are exploited, abused, raped, rejected, or they are shamed and treated with contempt.

In our culture there are serious consequences for any woman who enjoys sex, and I am not even speaking about women who have embraced and openly embody their sexual expression. This stems from the fact that our relationship with our sexuality has been fundamentally wounded. It is not only a social wound, and what is worse, it speaks to the condition of us as a species.

A simple search online reveals that sex is among the healthiest experiences we can offer ourselves, psychologically, emotionally, and mentally. And not only for the body, since I am not speaking solely about the physical act. I am speaking about our relationships as well. Why, then, is it burdened with guilt, shame, and emotional pain? Why do we avoid it, or why do we allow ourselves so little joy in it?

In Tantric teachings, every orgasm we experience offers a brief glimpse of ultimate truth. It is a flash of connection with enlightenment.

We are all hardwired in such a way that our sexuality is directly linked to spiritual realization.

If you believe this, or if you sense it is true, then where, why, and how is this deemed SHAME?

Many women live in a kind of emotional hibernation where sexuality is concerned. We are emotionally maimed by deep, unrecognized wounds buried in the soul. This conditioning operates beneath conscious awareness, so it is hardly surprising that we do not notice how it keeps us confined. As a result of the same trauma, we often face bewildering feelings of self hatred, denial of our nature, a diminished sense of worth, and fear of expression.

Reading this back feels frightening. Do you know what is most disturbing? The most disturbing part is that all of this is considered NORMAL, that women see this as a normal state.

We are all bound by subconscious rules about acceptable expression and proper conduct, imposed by the society and culture we inhabit. Nowhere is this more visible than in the realms of sexual expression and sensual pleasure.

To be clear, tantra and sex should not be viewed solely through the lens of physical gratification. Think of the physical act, that physical bond, as a key you hold in your hand. The key opens a doorway to higher insight, and it is up to you how you will use it. Will you simply hold it and revel in how it makes you feel, or will you use it to open the door. The choice is yours.

I am here to point you toward the moon. Do not fixate on the finger that points. Look, and reach for the moon.

One way to free ourselves from this inner prison is to engage our sexuality in concert with CONSCIOUS INTENTION. In time you will become aware of the traumas that live deep within your being. These unrecognized, unintegrated aspects of your soul require mindful attention and healing, so that they can be restored and woven back into the wholeness of our being.

From personal experience, when I consciously explored the darkness surrounding sexual fears, wounds, pain, and pleasure, I began to feel "healthier" and "more whole" as an individual. Through these writings I share this with all of you, and I remind myself as well, that we must nurture deep awareness, intimate connectedness, and sincere love for our own sexuality and sensual pleasure.

Above all, we need to consider what this truly means, what such practice can bring, and whether, once we glimpse the truth, we are prepared to keep digging and face our own "demons".

If you wish to explore and express your sensuality free from guilt, fear, or shame, if you want your soul to resonate with the rhythm of life, if you want to understand sexual energy and how to harness it for your health, vitality, passion, pleasure, and happiness, then you have come to the right place.

The key to unlocking our human potential is a long term journey that includes joy, self discovery, and the embrace of genuine freedom, which we can only gain through gradual self acquaintance, understanding, love, and self acceptance. This deep self knowledge and the love we hold for ourselves is a birthright.

Deep connection with our primordial spirit becomes possible only when we consciously unite all aspects of our personality, especially our sexuality, since this is where our deepest fears lie, along with neglect and emotional, psychological, and spiritual trauma.