The Self Pleasure Principle: CONNECTING WITH YOURSELF

The need to connect with oneself is a fundamental human need that we often overlook in our fast paced modern lives. If you ask me, this is the treasure chest we are all seeking:

To know the voice of our heart with such certainty that every moment we live is the purest and most refined expression of our soul.

This form of pure, undiluted and entirely natural self expression is something we all seek. It arrives only when we have a clear, deep and unbroken connection with our inner knowing.

However, and unfortunately, given the teachings we do or do not receive as children about this kind of self connection, we speak about it more than we truly feel it. We often hear and read that the answer lies within and that we should listen to our heart. True. That would be EXCELLENT. Yet few of us know how to actually do it. How can I GO WITHIN and hear what I am telling myself?

How can I hear the voice of my heart when my head is full of noise and clutter? For this, we need a tool that can cut through all those surface level mental voices. Every kind of growth in our world calls for a tool. If you wish to cultivate a garden, you need spades, rakes, a hoe. Permaculture would have something to say here, although that is another matter altogether. In other words, you need instruments to dig, to lift, to form beds. You see the point.

So, when tending the garden of your heart, let us call it that, we need a tool or, better yet, a method that guides us from the surface state of mind into the innate wisdom held in the body. We cannot expect to reach from point A to point Z without a plan, a method or the right means.

All the principles outlined here will support you in experiencing and living a deep and pure understanding of your heart, your body and your mind, and they will help you hear the true song your soul sings. You will not only hear it. You will be certain, one hundred percent certain, that it is your song. When you practice these principles, the results you may expect include the following:

Inner clarity
Connection with your essence and being
Inner peace and a sense of ease
Inner happiness
Courage and freedom of expression
Heightened sensual pleasure
Deeper emotional connection
Improved relationships
Inner strength

Even with only twenty one days of practice, you will notice that you feel more alive, more connected and happier, with more energy. Your intimate experiences will improve and your bond with your partner will deepen.

In addition to exercises specifically focused on the principles of Movement, Meditation and Self stimulation, there are two further exercises that deepen self knowledge and self connection.

The first method of self connection works through breath, namely through breathing. Our breath is the gateway to the present moment. It bridges the gulf between the heart and the intellect by guiding our awareness into the physical body. Many people tend to avoid this experience.

Connection Exercise: Ocean Breath

This style of breathing was developed to heal and release emotional and sexual trauma stored in the cellular tissue of the physical body. Unlike most breathing styles in Tantra or in Yoga, Ocean Breath is a distinctly feminine, Yin style of breathing. Many people find it challenging because it asks for exceptional emotional vulnerability, as well as full bodily presence and awareness, in order to practice it correctly.

Begin by lying on your back with your eyes closed and your hands on your abdomen. This is important for proper practice because it allows the conscious mind to connect with the natural rhythm of your belly as you breathe.
Next, begin to breathe through an open mouth. Most of us breathe very shallowly through the nose and in this way use only a fraction of our lung capacity. This pattern is the result of excessive mental activity and a strong sign that we are not present in our own body. As you meditate and practice, you will become more aware of your body, and your breathing patterns will become slower and deeper.
Open your mouth WIDE.
One way to learn the technique is to press your index and middle fingers together, turn them sideways and place them in your open mouth, the way a dog carries a stick in its mouth.
Relax your jaw into a comfortable position around your fingers.
Remove your fingers, yet keep your mouth open exactly as it was when your fingers were in your mouth.
Keep breathing through the open mouth just as you were, and do not close your mouth at all.

A common mistake is to unconsciously close the mouth and inhale through the nose, then to open the mouth slightly when exhaling. Since we are not used to breathing with an open mouth, even a small opening can feel correct. It is not. At first, while you are learning this technique, check how wide your mouth is by using the procedure described above. ocean breath 2

The final element is SOUND. Again, we are not accustomed to consciously producing nonverbal sounds, although we often do so unconsciously. The sound you will make is "AAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhh" and it is a key part of the overall effect of this method.
Continue to breathe with the mouth open and the jaw relaxed, and with every exhale let the sound "Ahhhh" move out like a wave meeting the shore. AH is a primordial form of sound from which others arise. Some tantric exercises associate the sound AH with the throat chakra. When you make this sound, it resembles sound healing because it causes the throat chakra to vibrate. This vibration activates the throat chakra and allows it to clear the blocks that keep us from speaking the truth. We are conditioned as children to NOT tell the truth because we fear the shame that other adults, who have learned to suppress their expression, might feel.

We are encouraged to stop our own expression in order to avoid making OTHER people feel ashamed.

As individuals and as a culture we carry A LOT of weight in our throat chakras. This technique is a very simple way to clear those burdens and, most importantly, it encourages us to restore the inner voice of our heart and to free our natural capacity for expression.